Broken Reflection
by Lovekitty
Summary: After repressing her feelings for so long, Nami realizes what Gustafa means to her when Pony enters his life. As a result she starts to experience feelings she hates and in turn starts to hate whom she becomes in her fit of jealousy.


There she was again. Pony... that... Nami clenched her fists and looked away. Whenever she saw her, this indescribable anger welled up inside her. Her body was shaking, and her teeth were biting down hard on her lip, until a bead of blood appeared. Gustafa, whom was by his Yurt playing his guitar looked so happy when he stopped playing to greet her. All she could do is watch as she took her seat next to him smiling. Both of them. Gustafa eventually noticed her and waved over to her. The redhead narrowed her eyes and turned away walking away from the scene.

"I don't care!" She exclaimed, mostly to herself than anything.

Ha, who needed that... that stupid idiot. Always smiling and... trying to be kind. The woman hit her fist against the bark of a tree, venting her pent up frustration. Nami then sat down under the unfortunate tree and looked at her hand. Her eyes, burning now as tears threatened to find their way. Nami rubbed her eyes, and tried her best to keep them from spilling over. No, she refused to cry over that... stupid idiot.

At first, she had thought nothing of that bright eyed farmer from the city. At first she even seemed to be struggling. For some reason, she'd make friends with all the villagers like she had always been there. That must have been what won Gustafa over. Nami sighed heavily and put a hand on her forehead. What happened to all those wonderful times they had together? The gift, the beautiful night under the stars, and with him always.. bugging her about the most random things. At first, she didn't think too much of it. But over time she grew accustomed to his company, and even started to enjoy it. Then out of nowhere, Pony stole his heart. She had her face buried in her arms as she thought back. She didn't even hear the faint footfalls of the musician as he approached.

"Nami... is something wrong?" He asked her in his gentle voice.

She didn't bother looking up at him, instead she apathetically answered him, "Yeah, I just didn't sleep much last night."

Gustafa bit his lip. She hardly ever got any sleep... "I see." He said, then took a seat next to her, smiling as brightly as always.

Nami slowly peeked over toward him, but she refused to make actual eye contact with him. "What do you want?" She questioned.

The man gently placed a hand on her shoulder. "You look like you could use a friend. How about a song?" He asked.

Nami quickly slapped his arm away and glared at him. "Why don't you play Pony a song instead? Your annoying me!" She yelled, much louder than she expected and stood back up.

Leaving him awfully confused. He got up as well. "What's wrong, Nami? Your not like this normally..." He said worriedly.

Nami bit her lip and then clenched her fists. Stupid! Idiot! Moron! Fool! "Nothing! Leave me alone!" She spat vehemently and stormed away once more. Gustafa was stupefied, but he slowly came to a realization as a confused Pony came to his side.

"What's wrong?" She asked.

When Gustafa once more tried to approach her, Nami turned him away every time. He even tried catching her as she left the Inn, on her daily walks, everywhere. But he figured Nami would wear down and finally talk to him. He cared for Nami after all, even if it always looked as though she never felt the same way. Did... she? Though it was true, that he only had eyes for Pony now. She was wonderful. She was sweet, friendly, kind, hard-working, and whenever he was around her he had so much amazing inspiration! One hot Summer afternoon at the beach, the sun was just setting. The sky was set ablaze with orange and red. Nami was skipping rocks across the water. Alone. She was... always alone. He walked over to her side and Nami silently looked at him. The first time he made eye contact with her since that day.

"Nami..." He started, but she interrupted him, "I'm happy for you."

What? He remained quiet, listening to what she had to say. "She is always making you smile, sing, play music, she..." Nami then trailed off and looked away.

There was a glitter by her eyes caused by the sun reflecting from her tears.

"She's perfect for you." Her voice then cracked and she covered her eyes. "Ugh, got... something in my eye." She muttered.

Gustafa reached a hand over, but stopped it. He... wasn't sure what to do. Comfort her? That would do no good. Still this was a part of Nami he had never seen before. He sighed softly and looked away. "Nami..." He finally said and pulled her into his arms, hugging her gently. "So you did feel that way about me..." He said softly and started to cry as well, the tears readily sliding down his cheeks.

"I wish I had known. I really do. But thank you, for your support." He said and hugged her more tightly.

The girl blushed softly, gently resting her head against his chest. Now feeling his heartbeat in her ear. He was basically saying... he would stay with Pony but right now all she wanted was to stay here... forever.

But that of course, would never happen. He slowly released Nami and held her at arm's length. "You'll find yourself a wonderful man one day, and you will make him really happy." He told her, smiling even though the tears still didn't stop.

But the woman could only stare at him, surprised. She felt like she was just torn out of heaven, and now felt so disoriented.

"I... don't need a man to make me happy!" She retorted.

Gustafa could only laugh softly, ah, that was the independent woman that made his head spin not too long ago.

"That's right, which will make him one lucky duck when he wins your heart regardless." He said. Nami frowned softly. "I don't need your sympathy. Your just rubbing it in my face now." She said with an acidic tone.

Now the impact of the fall had finally hit her. Gustafa sighed softly and released her. "It's not sympathy Nami, you know that. I want you to be happy."

The two of them stood there, staring at each other quietly until Pony came rushing over calling out Gustafa's name. The girl was smiling brightly and gave him a big hug before noticing Nami was there.

"Oh! Hi Nami! I haven't heard from you in a while! How have you been?" She asked cheerfully.

"Shut up!" Nami yelled at her, clenching her fists.

"H-huh w-wha?" Pony clinged more tightly to Gustafa as she yelled, but he was just as surprised.

"Stay away from me." Nami uttered in a lower tone and left. Hopefully she would get the message that she did NOT like her. At all.

Pony slowly released the musician and gently held her hands together, dipping her head. "N-nami, did I do something to hurt you?" She asked worriedly.

"S-shut up!" Nami yelled again, taking a step back. Don't talk to me! You stole him you harlot! You... her legs started to shake, and the realization freaked her out. She ran away once more. She seemed to be doing that a lot lately. This time back to the inn, where she couldn't be disturbed anymore.

After that, Nami rarely ever left her room except for food. Eventually, she even had Ruby start bringing her food to her room. Anything, to avoid everyone. All day, she'd sit by the window sill, and stare outside toward the ocean. But the one person she wanted to avoid, she could never get away from. Herself. At times, she would feel such an intense desire to cry she'd press her forehead against the window and bit back her tears. Thankful for the cool feel of the glass against her skin. Sometimes, a tear or two would fight its way through. Nami would scorn every one too. It no longer was about Gustafa... in fact, there was just a vast emptiness now in her heart. No love, no joy. Just... hate and anger. Thoughts of him returned to apathy, sweet sweet apathy.

The only thing that kept her in this cage, was herself. These feelings of hatred she felt toward Pony, the thought of how she reacted around... a man of all things! Everything... she wanted to deny it all.

"T-thats not who I am!" She'd argue with herself at times, and occasionally pace around the room.

It wasn't, she was the calm, cool, Nami whom would never show a hint of emotion at anything! Love was stupid, so was getting all flustered when he held her, and feeling so... at ease when she could hear the sound of his heartbeat. A twinge of pain resounded in her heart, causing her hand to cover it. But it did nothing to balm the pain.

If somebody were to watch her, they would think she had gone completely insane. But inside her mind, it was a constant battle with who she really was, and who she wanted to be. An illusion she wanted to embrace and reject at the same time. It went on, until the day Ruby had mentioned in passing that Pony and Gustafa had finally tied the knot. She was also told that he came by several times to talk to her, and even wanted to invite her to the wedding, but she never listened to Ruby whenever she brought up his name.

Although she had gotten over him, an incredibly numb feeling arose in her heart. Married... to Pony? So she... really was the one huh? She smiled as she stared at the ceiling, tears welling up in her eyes freely now. Did she try to keep them down? Wipe them away? No, not at all. They flowed down her cheeks, as she thought about it. Then a laugh arose. Married... haha... to.. Pony? Nami laughed even more now and held her forehead. Wow! Why was she even laughing? Was it all of these conflicted emotions inside of her? She didn't even know... who she was anymore.

The next day, she finally left the house. She was ready to accept it. She was Nami, and she had emotions like jealousy and hatred. She could also have feelings toward another, and it wasn't the end of the world! It was late fall now, leaves were falling from the trees now, getting ready for Winter now. She walked over to the riverside and sat on the bench, running a hand through her hair. The sound of the water, the chirping birds, the soft feel of the wind. How she had missed it all; so much. It was amazing, and she was so miserable in that Inn. Now, a liberating feeling overcame her. Freedom to be who she was.

"Hey there, nice day isn't it? I don't think I've met you before! I'm Mark!" She heard a voice from behind her.

When she turned her head, she saw a young man staring at her with a warm friendly smile on his face. He took a seat next to her and stretched out, like he was having a nice lazy day~ "Hm, I guess your not much of a talker. That's ok! I can do all the talking but it would be nice to know your name." He said happily and then gave her a wink.

"Nami..."


End file.
